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"These Days" Falling Down!!

Christopher Laursen's picture

These Days I find it hilarious that no matter how beautiful and how peaceful this area is people "Fall Down" ya know what I mean? They lose it! They unravel! I awoke this morning to an incredible morning. the sun high in the sky finally. The mountains so white and outlined by the great rocks peaking through them were picturesque. I was up early and able to take my time and enjoy the peaceful serenity on a day that was soon to be short of serene.

I left about 5 minutes earlier than I normally do and planned on rolling into work at Free Wheelin' Films early and refreshed after filling my gigantic Aspen Store Mug full of hot chocolate and Caffeine. Carla is always there to say hello and wish me the normal pleasantries. Nothing deep but there's a symbiotic oneness with a good "Constant" ya know?

Anywhoo as I pulled the Rig onto Owl Creek Road and clicked on CNBC on my Sirius. (I now it doesn't sound serene but I'm a stock Junkie I can't help it... it's better than 24!)I looked into my rear view mirror only to see a frantic and antsy... um... we'll call him "Jackass" bearing down on the tail end of my German engineering.

How on earth is it possible for me to go from near enlightened peace to raging anger and spite and fear all within a short span of 3 seconds... Who the Hell was this guy! What did he think he was doing!!! Doesn't he know that I'm at one with the world and all of my karmic Chakaras are lined up like a bunch of boy scouts at a den meeting!!!

Well I was gonna just have to take care of this immediately... I hit my breaks and pulled to the side of the road! That scared the crap out of him. (he was obviously unaware of the incredibly advanced and highly technical EPS system of my C300... ) Needless to say the Jigsawed piece of orange disaster that this Jackass was attempting to hurdle down the road 23 inches from my arse was not nearly as responsive and probably was the catalyst for the beginning stages of a mild stroke for this dude.

Anywhoo he thought it his right to NOW pull in front of me and Block my way as if to say "Choose your weapon kind sir. You have angered me and I must seek revenge to the enth degree" Well seeing as the last fight I was in was Jay Madgets Graduation party in Edina Minnesota back in 1988 with Hubert H. "Buck" Humphrey IV I was in no mood to test my sparing ability this morning.

I attempted to pull away and found myself in a short drag race for the position in front and in the right lane heading towards Aspen On Owl Creek Road. Alas, to no avail! This man wouldn't have it... There was NO way that after I had nearly caused this aforementioned stroke I was to be the lead horse in this morning derby...

He took the lead and began to put his pedal to his medal and the intensity for me came back to a peaceful white knuckling of my steering wheel and the clenching of my teeth.

after about 5 minutes as I watched him tailgate the car in front of me and race past people in a no passing zone I saw him disappear into the parking lot of Buttermilk Mountain... "To-da-loo Jackass" I thought to myself... feeling triumphant and taking solace that I was the cooler head and that I had prevailed.

Upon entering Aspen I made my way around the round-a-bout and on into the town proper, noticing a police unit pulling in behind me as I made my way through town... No lights not sirens, just some chit chat on his Walkie Talkie or CB Radio thingy.

I thought to myself... How odd? When I pulled into the gas station at the Aspen Store I thought to myself... Humm... He must need gas too? When I pumped Gas and watched him sit in his seat and do nothing I knew that the jig was up. I put the pump back in its sleeve and paid my $3.00 a gallon and RIGHT THEN another police cruiser pulled into the other side of the gas station. I was trapped... What was I to do? Should I make a run for it? Should I jump the curb? My heart began racing like crazy.. Was I on my way to jail? Was I to be cuffed and then Stuffed into one of these vehicles?!?!?!? What would Jack Bauer do?

Well evidently my little version of "COPS ASPEN" was nothing but a short little slap on the wrist and a quick check of my drivers license and insurance etc. Albeit very harrowing on my part... My blood was pumping and my mind was racing and I was furious and scared and embarrassed altogether! Turns out that at one point there were a total of three city and county vehicles and 4 total officers of the law to occupy and keep the peace. I have to say they were all incredibly friendly and well mannered. I think one of them could potentially end up being a new friend! Ahh the trials and tribulations of small town peace keeping.

Evidently, and this wasn't told to me in so many words. Some soccer mommy must have gotten her granny panties in a bunch when witnessing the entire event and of course called the long arm of the law!

I guess the moral of the story is to learn how... even while you think you're in the most peaceful of minds... to not react with great dramatic recklessness when something poses a threat to your "Waahh" (I think that's a word? My dad always said it when I was disturbing him)

I've since un-rippled my mental pond and am enjoying the hindsight... we'll see if I leave 4 minutes early again tomorrow... maybe it'll be 3 this time.

Chris Laursen